Day 158: Electronic Clutz

Another amazing quality about about a Secrist is that it is very clumsy. A Secrist can fall, going UP steps, has weak ankles (or as I call them "ankies", we'll get to that later), and have VERY close calls in a moving vehicle...the kind where you see your life flash before your eyes, but only if Nick McCarty is in the car (we'll also get to that too). But we'll start with the very basics of what makes us clumsy. We have an uncanny ability to drop, kick, LOSE, wash and/or get beer thrown at our precious, rather expensive, electronic equipment. ONE of us is not buying the other of us any more electronics!!! Do you hear me?! Why...you might ask. I mean that does sound harsh. Well....

Reason Number 1, not to buy a Secrist electronics: They will lose an iPhone in a Staples and then tell you "Someone stole it." We had only had the phone for 5 months.
Reason Number 2, not to buy a Secrist electronics: The female Secrist will wash an iPod and then tell you that you should have cleaned out your pants. She'll be mad at you for not listening...but really mad that now we have to spend money getting a new one. There goes my shopping money!
Reason Number 3, not to buy a Secrist electronics: You will buy them a new iPod from your local BX. But when you get it home...it won't work. Okay...so all you have to do is return it...but wait "Where's the receipt?" Hours will be spent trying to find it...only to realize someone must have stolen it. Thank goodness for online banking. My God, that was complicated.
Reason Number 4, not to buy a Secrist electronics: You will return the iPod that doesn't work and get a new one. Finally...but don't get to attached. While spinning your rifle, you will yank the headphones from the new shiny iPod and now the darn thing won't work. Oh it plays...you just can't hear the music. Is that electronic gods why of mocking us? I think so
Reason Number 5, not to buy a Secrist electronics: You will go to Scotland for an awesome time for New Years. You will take pictures of your yourselves so you can remember this experience. A dude, who just must have been so excited for 2010...threw a beer into the air and of all the thousands of people, it hit us...but more importantly....it hit the camera! And the beer soaked camera died in our arms.
Reason Number 6, not to buy a Secrist electronics: They will take your iPhone (the one that didn't get lost at a Staples) to the desert and then tell me "Baby....I might have accidentally broke the camera on the iPhone". Oh course you did.
Reason Number 7, not to buy a Secrist electronics: You will buy them a new camera (because well the one you had is drunk) for their birthday and because they are getting deployed and you want them to be able to take pictures of their experiences there. But...the camera will get a huge crack in the screen. It still works...but that won't last for long because the camera doesn't stand a chance against a Secrist.
Reason Number 8, not to buy a Secrist electronics:  THIS WILL ALL HAPPEN IN LESS THAN 18 MONTHS!!!!!!!!

....but...but...but...but...I want an iPad.